I’m so tired of hearing people complain that if they were “pretty” then they would be happy; people would be nicer to them, they’d have the girls/boys all over them, they’d know how it would feel to be loved/wanted, life would just be simpler period. But that’s so ridiculous.. I don’t even understand how you can think that.

I know so many pretty girls who aren’t popular, who don’t have guys drooling over them- who don’t have life “easy.”

I know people in general who are butt ugly (on both the inside/outside) but they are lucky enough to be innately smart, and popular, and people do drool over them.

I mean imagine the prettiest person ever, but they were anti-social, couldn’t keep a conversation flowing to save their life-not because they were awkward, but because they simply didn’t want to- just absolutely hated people. Do you think that they’d get by life pretty easily? That they absolutely adore life?

Imagine a person who is just average looking, they don’t have a model’s looks but who they are, and what they do-completely unforgettable. Their hilarious, trustworthy, loyal, wise, and talented; I’m pretty sure their life is good. I’m not saying that even they will be happy all the time and their life will be perfect all the time. But do you think that they enjoy life for the most part? If they want to, I bet you that they can.

So saying that your “ugly” isn’t an excuse for why your [social] life sucks. Grow up, and realize that however you act will control your life, not how you look.

I started to get so restless when I was making my cup of tea.. like getting really really frustrated how the water was taking forever to boil (#firstworldproblems) BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT OF THIS POST.. I’m starting to worry that all those Thoreau passages I read in class are getting to me.. that my world is moving at such a fast pace that I can’t even be relaxed and calm to wait for my cup of tea so I can stay awake to study? And I know tumblr takes up time too, but if the activity is not solely producing entertainment or productive itself, then it’s like no one has time for it anymore.

All I really want is to be able to just sit outside and eat fruit and drink iced tea. But I don’t have the patience to do that anymore (because I actually do have the TIME).. I feel so unproductive and wasting so much precious time if I do that instead of actually doing something FUN or PRODUCTIVE. I can’t even stop and appreciate God’s beautiful gifts for me.

I’m so lucky and blessed to be able to live in such a nice city, and I don’t even have the patience to fully appreciate it. 

Finals really suck. I’ve been studying like crazy for finals and I feel like I’m still going to fail them all and completely ruin my grades.

I don’t really mind about getting bad grades if it weren’t for my parents. They aren’t the parents that yell or punish me when I do bad in school, but they get really disappointed, which is somewhat to me way worse. They keep telling me that they believe in me, and that I can achieve the A’s on the finals but as I’m studying for them, and I took a few already, I know I failed/will fail.

Living in a small house that’s cozy is all that I really want. I mean living in a big house alone isn’t much fun, and I always wanted to live in a small cozy house. I don’t need the newest technology (but still need technology! (: ) like I’m fine with a mediocre phone, mediocre car, mediocre computer, mediocre television, as long as they work. So getting a job that pays much isn’t something that I think I “need.” So getting bad grades really doesn’t seem to bug me, or at least yet.

Getting great grades are realy for my parents to be proud of me, or just at least not disappointed. They give me everything that I need or most of the times anything I want, they’d get it for me. Getting good grades is my lame way of thanking them, and I can’t even do that. Well, that’s a great description of a failure daughter. 

(Source: thatkitchen)

(Source: its-a-girl-thing, via obliviously-mindful)

Found my diary that I wrote in from 4th-6th grade today! I found in one entry I wrote: Tomorrow I’m going to school :( :(. I have a big problem at school. It’s called “people.”

Haven’t changed a bit haha

Well today was great(: Had an amazing Christmas Eve party with my family.
Ever since school started I always wanted to get away from school, friends, family, etc. I daydreamt of running away (although I know I would and will never) or just how great it will be in the future when I get to move away. 

Don’t get me wrong, my family is amazing for the most part. They give me so much, the only problem is that they don’t let me be myself. Their criticism goes too far almost always…  it’s what a lot of other people go through when they feel like they’re the odd one out in the family.

I wouldn’t mind leaving my friends for a while, a very long while. Either they changed or I changed but I just don’t get them anymore. It feels like more than enough times I got their backs but they don’t have mine. They can rant/vent/complain/cry/seek advice from or to me and (I think I do) I give them the best advice I can, I genuinely care and help them out and check up on them until they feel better. I don’t rant much to people about my problems directly (hence this blog) I don’t really feel comfortable having people know my problems but if something’s really bugging me or I really need help I’ll go out to them and ask for help. But they give me nothing, for the most part I feel as if I would have been better off not telling them in the first place. Either they give me sarcastic answers which piss the hell out of me (because great friends who can’t take you seriously is so reassuring) or they just don’t care. They brush it off like it’s nothing. And it may be nothing to them, but if you are the good friend you call yourself, you can be somewhat helpful and try your help your friend here.

School sucks. But I don’t want to talk about school over my winter break sooo

Haha this rant & gif seems to be missed placed because this post is actually written to say how GREAT today was and how much I love staying home.. and how much I should love staying home everyday. 

(Source: psychedelic-high, via sandavia-deactivated20120416)

I really hope this year is better- I pray to be more courageous than last year so I won’t miss any opportunities 
haha please, BE GOOD TO ME 

(via beli3ver-deactivated20120318)